Search

A Single Fish in a Big Sea



There are plenty of fish in the sea, right?


That’s what everyone always says.


Well, it sure didn’t feel like that when just about every guy I found interest in during middle school, high school, and even college didn’t seem to reciprocate any amount of feelings back to me. I constantly felt like I was going in circles, having feelings for one guy and then turning around and crushing on a new guy. Every month or so, my closest friends would get the call, “So there’s this guy...” But nothing ever came of those stories no matter how long I tried to wait.


I have three older brothers who are now all married. Two of my sisters-in-law have been around the family for 10+ years, and the most recent sister-in-law has been around for 3+ years. To say the least, the past three years have been a challenge. This most recent Christmas was the hardest of them all since everyone was home, and I was still the youngest and still so... single.


It’s pretty difficult being surrounded by dating and marriage while having no prospects at all. I internally beat myself up about it for longer than I’d like to admit. That dark voice jabbing at me, saying things like: “What is it about you that guys don’t like?” “Why are you still single?” “You must not be pretty enough.” “Your clothes probably aren’t cute enough.” “You don’t stand out enough.” I was never enough in my own head.


Rooting myself in what the Lord says about me is not easy. It is a constant battle against the dark voice. Believing that the Lord has someone for me is not easy, either. (What if He actually doesn’t? That’s another blog.) But, as cliché as it is, the season of being single produces so much growth. It creates space to allow yourself to become a whole person on your own and with the Father.


Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean that you aren’t pretty.

Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean that you aren’t seen.

Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean that you aren’t loved.

Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean that you aren’t being pursued.

Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean that you aren’t funny.


No matter how many fish are in the sea, my goal cannot be to look for the "right" one. My Father, the Creator of the ocean and all that is in it has created me to love Him first, be fulfilled in Him first, and glorify Him whether I'm single or not.


As a dear friend of mine has always said, “Wait. And be loved.”


Being single is a gift.