“Be strong and brave, and don’t tremble in fear of them, because the Eternal your God is going with you. He’ll never fail you or abandon you!” Deuteronmy 31:6 [The Voice]
Have you ever been in a stretch of life where you just stop and think, “Where the heck am I?”
You know, the kind of season where it seems like you had the direction, the plan, the drive to get there. Maybe even God told you to walk into opportunity and you felt like this was where He wanted you to be.
And then... you hit a wall. A darkness comes over the sure plan and you can’t see. You look around at where God took you and nothing seems familiar, nothing seems concrete. So you’re left confused because you thought this was where God was taking you. You thought that He was calling you to *this*, and now nothing makes sense.
I am currently there... Days and months where I had a direction in mind, and then all of the things I put my security in suddenly crumbled. Even though it’s only been a few months in the making, it seems like several years of continuous complications. One after another, these events are like building Legos in the dark - trying to find the right bricks and make connections that have purpose. And no matter how hard I try to navigate the difficulties, I still end up stumbling through the dark and hitting barriers.
I’d like to say I am a faithful believer that trusts her Heavenly Father no matter what happens. I’d like to be that person that answers the “why is this happenings” of my life, with “the Lord is sovereign”.
But let’s be real, I hate stumbling. I hate not knowing. I hate being in unfamiliar territory that leaves me anxious and confused and frustrated. What’s worse is I don’t hear God in those moments.
It’s just…. silence.
I thought about this season recently while we have been in-between homes and jobs (thanks 2020). I am in the tension of the “in-between”, but ready to take the next step. The next kind of step you don’t have to think about where to place your foot because it’s right in front of you — certain and assured of the next move. Like so many of you — I want control or at a minimum, certainty. However, this year uprooted everything we dearly held onto, and to our surprise, we are not in control or even sure of what the next step should be.
We are not seeing.
And therefore, certainly not trusting the Sovereign Father
But in the midst of the craziness, the Father gave me a picture that I have been holding onto for weeks now.
It was just after we had moved for the second time in less than two years.
I was putting my baby girl in her new room. Completely unfamiliar territory with new sounds and smells, she fell asleep fast because she was exhausted. But in the middle of the night, she woke up disoriented and started to cry. Slowly I made my way through the pitch black and picked her up. As I sat in the chair to rock her back to sleep, her hand reached up for my face.
Now, from the oodles of research that I have done, I knew full well that my girl knew it was me.
She knows my smell.
She knows my arms.
She knows the sound of my heartbeat.
Yet, she needed the comfort of touching my face in the dark.
So, I bent down so she could run her fingers over my face and know that all is well. She does not need to be afraid, because I had her.
Such a simple reassurance put her mind at ease.
And at that moment, the Lord whispered to me, “Child, this is what I do for you. In your season of darkness, in your moment of confusion and disoriented state of mind, My face is not far from yours. Lift your hands to touch it. See that I have not left you in the unfamiliar or the obscure. I have not left you to stumble in your footing. I have you safe in my arms.”
Everyone goes through dark phases where they can’t see a thing. It’s difficult, overwhelming, and challenging. And if you are like me, you dread the uncontrollable, unknown pit that is 2020.
In stumbling through the dark, we can choose to let the hurdles create doubt in our faith. But perhaps there’s something more in this. Perhaps we can invite His presence to illuminate the shadows.
Perhaps this is where our feet meet consecrated, solid... holy ground.
Ladybird, sometimes we have no answer for the darkness, but we do know the One who we can lean back into. We can choose to lift our hands to touch the face of the Creator. We can choose to acknowledge that we don’t know where He has led us, but we know Him. And we know His plans are the very best for our good.
Because our Father is in control, we can be certain — this is holy ground.
“Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague will come near your tent.” Psalm 91:9-10
Hannah Nobles is on the Hey Ladybirds! Team and lives, loves, and leads everyone around her in Atlanta, GA. Her degree from Moody Bible Institute furthered her passion for missions — whether in the park down the street or in another country. Being the wife of a filmmaker and mom to a two-year-old daughter makes for fun adventures!